Article by Jinny Richards, LAC, Living Well Counseling
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4 NLT)
A young lady comes into my office and quickly begins to sob. For the last year, she’s felt sad and anxious, slowly withdrawing from her husband. Each time the tears well up, she consciously stuffs it down and goes about her day, throwing herself into chores, meticulously cleaning every inch of the house to keep her mind off the sadness. A year later and she’s been having thoughts of harming herself and cannot stand to rest on the weekends, always needing to keep busy.
As it turns out, she’s been holding resentment towards her husband for things he said to her early on in their marriage. Not really sure how to handle it, she started gritting her teeth and bearing it, becoming the “perfect housewife” and busy mom. Consumed with ignoring the pain and symptoms, she was reluctant to have an honest conversation with her husband.
Finally, the pain and thoughts of suicide were too intense; she collapsed on my couch, finally letting the tears flow. God, in His wonderful grace in the designing of our bodies, allows emotional pain to build up until we are unable to ignore it. Eventually, we will have to seek healing, and God invites us to find comfort in his presence.
We all know that ever since the Fall, emotional pain and heartache are a universal human experience. Many of us will do anything to avoid feeling the pain, cushioning our lives with every worldly comfort, distraction, and vice. And yet… the pain still seeps through.
What if our sadness is telling us something? God is patient with us, always wanting us to come to Him, no matter the state of our heart. But what if the young woman had listened to her sadness right away? What if she noticed the tears and the tightness in her chest and was curious about it. What if she
had given herself the time and space with the Lord to ponder, “Why am I sad? What does my body need to say to me?” After all, God gave us this body and the whole range of emotions that come with it.
Perhaps anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, and all the signals from our bodies are all emotions from God that are given to us for a purpose. They can be “check engine” lights for our souls. God uses our bodies to send us a pain message and it is worth listening to. As much as we’d all love to never hurt again, that’s not how sanctification works, this side of Heaven. (James 1:2-4) He uses pain to motivate us to care for our soul and tend to our relationships.
So, what have you been avoiding? What pain have you been ignoring—or wallowing in—without examining your heart and giving those emotions a voice. I believe our loving Father has a gift to give us in our pain. If we don’t take the time to acknowledge and receive that gift, we will carry the pain with us until we are forced to address it. God is ready and willing to help as soon as we turn to Him with our pain. (Matt. 11:28-30)